Something no one told me before I became a mother-- mothering is HARD. It's not all shiny mini-vans and little cherub-faced soccer players, or babies who sleep 12 hours straight and never EVER sass... Mothering is a challenge, day in and day out.
A few months ago I listened to a speaker at Women of Faith who talked about being invisible. Her kids and husband never thanked her for the supper she'd prepared or the hours she'd spent folding and putting away laundry so they'd have clean clothes to wear. They didn't acknowledge her as much more than a constant maid, one who loved them too much to let any of her household or familial duties suffer. She felt invisible.
I'm not saying this woman is me. My husband and kids are quick to thank me (most of the time) and I serve my house out of a full heart and a desire to honor God in the life He has blessed me with. But some days, let's admit it... We tire of wiping noses and picking up toys. We grit our teeth when digging under the bed for hubby's dirty pile of socks, not two feet away from the hamper. We scrub dishes with cracked hands and watch as someone dumps a freshly soiled one on top of the pile without a second glance at our bleeding fingers. We sometimes feel invisible.
I recently had one of those days, when everything was piled up and dirty and I felt like I'd already been working so hard all day. I was irritable and tired and feeling guilty for not playing with my kids, when a friend randomly told me, "Hey, I think you're a great mom." I literally BURST into tears. That morning I had yelled at my son--who apparently had 'selective hearing', I spent more time on Facebook than on the floor with my kids, I felt a darkness creeping into my day, judging me and telling me I didn't deserve the beautiful babies in my care. I'd felt invisible, like nothing I did mattered or was even noticed. The cloud of invisible-ness felt ugly and mean. Guilt and remorse caved in on me and I blubbered, "I'm NOT a good mom! I'm mean and busy and sometimes I yell and gosh can't I even go pee alone?!" Through my friend's gentle encouragement, I felt God whisper directly to my spirit, "I see you." I don't hear Him audibly. Sometimes I wish I did. But that day, I felt His voice more clearly than if He had spoken the words... "I see you."
Take heart, my sweet mama friends. God sees you. He sees your sore backs and the spit-up dripping down your clean t-shirt. He sees the cupcakes you make for your child's class and the only slightly-burned meatloaf you put on the supper table. But more than these earthly things, God sees you praying for your babies and your husband. He sees your heart, all of it. He sees the desires and the fears in it, and He sees the great, great love you have for those precious little messy-faced kiddos.
We can all always improve. But we are not invisible. We are mothers and we are daughters of the Most High King. We are His and can call upon His power when ours is gone.
"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out before us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the JOY set before him endured the cross, scorning it's shame and sat down at the right hand of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:1b-3
And remember... He sees you.
